Claimed:Axelberry prepares... for what? he doesn't know [1/2]

[BluObieZ 1,125]

With the VHLM playoffs around the corner teams and players are making last second preparations for playoff pushes but for Vernon Von Axelberry things are different. He knows for a fact he will not get a start for Bratislava because well they have a better goalie that they will ride into the playoffs so how and why would he even train or prepare. How does on prepare for "riding the pine"? Fans have come up with some funny yet interesting suggestions for their entertaining backup. They suggested he should play music during home games to hype up the crowd. Axelberry has said that the team would not be able to pay his per appearance salary and does not do little crowds. But as of right now that is the only way Axelberry can actually help and benefit his team. He can get his team mates ready for games by playing the right music. He can make blast shitty music into the opposing teams LR making them distracted. It's all mind games. He can help with that. If the opposing team plays the game made they will take more penalties which can help his team win. But more then likely Axelberry will not do that. He more then likely will not even show up for games. He has packed his bags in Bratislava and was seen laying down a sick set in Vegas this weekend while his team mates are wrapping up their season.

 

What does Bratislava do? how do they make their backup actually care? what if they need to pull their starting goalie? at this point it would have to be some crack addicted equipment person named Bob. Axelberry would be a good just in case person to have travel with the team but he has zero interest in it. His Publicist Gloria Cunti told us "Vernon has decided to take his puck and go home. He will report to a team that drafts him but he will not be bothered to ride the pine and watch a team win the cup without any help from him. He will gladly DJ the victory parade and pick up his cup ring but he will not be there and watch a sport that he finds boring. So he has decided to go on a world tour between now and the start of next season. He will make a lot more money touring then he does off his VHLM contract. If you want to get a direct quote from him good luck with that because he is in Las Vegas getting pointers from SWC3 on lifestyle changes. We as his management team feel that him getting mentoring from a player who knows how to play with distractions and still look good doing it"

 

Which is another thing that Bratislava should be worried about. If their backup is taking pointers on lifestyle changes from a guy who has gone he past 444 days on a constant cocaine high (ongoing world record) can they really trust the things that their backup goalie is learning are things that are beneficial to his development. Because at this point anything can happen. Their starter can get injured, he may suck and they may need him for the next game. But if he takes SWC's words to heart and makes the suggestions suggested by SWC3 which we all know are cocaine related then how can a goalie that has four career starts under his belt help?

 

He still has a ton to work on. He still needs to develop his love for the game. Well... maybe in his case it would be general interest in the game. He needs to learn exactly how to play the game, play the angles and the fundamentals of how to be a goalie. Till then he will just be a raw player and will never really progress in his career. The Cocaine obviously will not help. Cocaine will just hinder his poor abilities even more. Axelberry is already a admitted avid Molly head and mixing Cocaine with that could be a deadly mix. So even if Bratislava needed a goalie change in the playoffs would they really have the balls to do it? would they really put that much weight on the shoulders of a young guy that barely grasps the game and doesn't even care for it. He hates the game and finds it boring. Which means he does not care about his team mates. He just wants to play so he can say he is the champion something else. Earlier this season he was quoted as saying "I conquered the music world and the money world now it's time to be the champion at something else" No one really thinks he will ever care enough to go to battle for his team mates and actually care about winning. Which on the flip side of the coin losses won't really bother him. It will make it easy for him to bounce back because of his lack of drive and lack of respect for the game and players that play it. No one really knows what will happen with this guy, but he might be the most interesting prospect since his now mentor SWC3. Which is a scary thought. If SWC3 is so fucked imagine how fucked his protege can be. 

[Jericho 917]

Claimed

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Review:

Cocaine is always a great key to success.

There's a lot of goalies coming through the VHL for the next few seasons, with the 2nd player option out there. A lot of people finally don't mind taking a stab at goaltending, but it might hurt some people who have to be backups.

That just makes the competition tougher though. Earn dat TPE, and you get to play, basically.