What is hockey? a Vernon Von Axelberry story

[BluObieZ 1,125]

Do you remember when you were little and you didn't really know what hockey was? your dad showing you the sport, getting you skates and showing you how to skate then giving you a stick and telling you to fucking just give er? well the main thing in those flashbacks is that you were little, and your mind was easy to mold. You fell in love with the sport because your dad loved it. You wanted to be just like him so you did it because he wanted you to do it. But you grew to love it yourself because its a great sport and all that shit. But flash forward to now, to a goalie that has no idea what the sport is, has never ever played a game in his life probably not even in video games. He has way more experience spinning records and laying down amazing sets then even lacing up skates. 

 

We have it on good authority that he actually has not even seen hockey skates in his life let alone the goalie equipment that he will be dawning night in and night out. He is known for being a bit of a pre-Madonna and wants things just so. So we wonder if he knows just how bad goalie equipment stinks. That he will have to see other naked men in the locker room. His posse, entourage and security detail cannot do anything about any of that. When DJ Vern finally gets picked up by a VHLM team his Molly Dream will come true. He will have to play a game of hockey. How will he do? we expect horribly and it will be fun to watch. Hopefully he will beg to never play again but with the goalie needs around the league that won't happen. The big body that he has is better then some of the shitty little fucks that play the position. So DJ Vern may have to think about this new "because I am bored" career because once he signs a VHL contract he will have to legit play real games and be good at it because his team will be depending on him to win games. But thats if he gets to that point in his career. We will have to wait and see