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Claimed:DJ Vern throws down a sick set [1/2]


BluObieZ

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Veron Von Axelberry or as he is affectionly called DJ Vern has officially declared for the S54 VHL draft. But why would he do such a thing when he is international superstar DJ that is known from one corner of the planet to the other. Well... because is bored during the day, when he wakes up from his drunken slumber and still feeling the effects of the Molly he needs something to do between then and his next "set" which is industry term for his next gig, the next time turns the tables and so on and so forth. 

 

But why hockey? Why would a DJ put his body through such a physical game just because he needs something to do? He doesn't even play for any team at the moment, he didn't play when he was young, and he actually admitted that he isn't even a hockey fan. Last night after his set he sat down with his Samsung S8 (Yes he has it early, all superstars do) and asked google now "What is Hockey?" and the response of "Ice Hockey is a contact team sport played on ice, usually in a rink, in which two teams of skaters use their sticks to shoot a vulcanized rubber puck into their opponent's net to score points" made him look down at the ground in disappointment and ask out loud "What did I get myself into?"

 

But that is a legit question at this moment since he had no idea what the sport was, how to play it or even how to skate on ice. A bit fucked right? But that didn't stop him yelling out right a sick track "If you love this shit, wait till you see me play...uh... ICE FUCKING HOCKEY! AS A FUCKING GOALIE... I THINK! What do you guys think? Will I blow their fucking minds with my skills like I melt your minds with my music?" to which the fans chanted "GOALIE VERN! GOALIE VERN!" Which made the molly'd up DJ throw on his new song "Cocaine Melt" which by the way was a huge hit.

 

Speaking of Cocaine, SWC3 was in the crowd high on cocaine since he is a massive DJ Vern fan. He didn’t even know what the implications of DJ Vern joining the hockey world would be till he woke up from his cocaine haze the next afternoon. Yes, he slept into the afternoon because that’s what King’s do. They skip practice so they can come down off a cocaine high just so they can get high yet again and play hockey. But when asked what he thought about the Zimmers Agencies new client he had to think for a second “Wait… what? DJ Vern is playing hockey now? Why? He spins music not skate… I’m not sure if this was a good idea. But who am I to say I am admitted cocaine addict and they don’t care”

 

Also something that SWC3 left out was that he much like Vern didn’t play any hockey till entering the VHL. So he proved that it can be done. When we brought that up to him, he told us to fuck off and that “I’m different, I am King and he’s not. All he is a is DJ so he should stay one. All I know is that I will enjoy scoring on him if he breaks into the league before I leave or OD. Whichever happens first”

 

We have no idea what to expect with DJ Vern between the pipes but it will be entertaining to see his first VHLM game. Which should be in the soon future. Till then, LET THE COCAINE MELT! (BASS DROP)

 

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  • DollarAndADream changed the title to DJ Vern throws down a sick set [1/2]

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