Writing Ranks Round 2: Doomsday v. Phil

[probably not noah 346]

Jones & Landry: Dynamic Duo

 

TURKU - On the ice, Thomas Landry and Davey Jones proved to be an effective duo during their time in both the Victory Hockey League and the VHLM, winning a Founders' Cup along with two Continental Cups during their careers. Following his retirement following Season 39, Jones transitioned into a full-time general manager in the VHLM with the Turku Outlaws. After his final season in the VHL, Landry was brought aboard the Outlaws as an assistant general manager. The two-time Grimm Jonsson Trophy winner gravitated towards a role more of a head coach, with Jones continuing to manage all personnel movements and transactions.

 

Although they have now teamed up to prepare prospects for the professional level, Landry and Jones used to be young and wide-eyed themselves many moons ago. Both were a part of the now-legendary Season 33 Bratislava Watchmen, who eventually won the Founders' Cup. With both serving on the second line with VHLM legend Mario Corvia, they racked up a total of 267 points. Following the season, Landry was called up to the New York Americans, while Davey Jones went to the Cologne Express as the fourth overall selection in the Season 34 VHL Entry Draft.

 

 

Although they were drafted to different teams, their fates were to one day cross again. Thomas Landry was traded to the HC Davos Dynamo before Season 35 and it would prove to become his home. Early in Season 36, the Cologne Express traded Jones to the Dynamo, reuniting the duo once again. They would prove to be a formidable force with the Dynamo as well, scoring a combined 739 points and reaching the Continental Cup in all four seasons they played together in the VHL, with Davos hoisting the Continental Cup twice during this span. Additionally, Jones won the Daisuke Kanou Trophy in Season 36 and a Mikka Virkkunen Trophy in Season 38 while Landry won the Grimm Jonsson Trophy in Seasons 36 and 37. However, when Jones retired following Season 39, it seemed as if that was the end of their storied partnership in hockey.

 

However, that was not the case. Although their careers on the ice are over, they have found new life together in the front office of the Turku Outlaws. With Jones now building the roster and Landry using his legendary leadership skills to maximize the skills of the players, Turku seems well on their way to a successful season. At the time of print, the Outlaws are 15-9 in 24 games played, tied for second in the VHLM with 127 goals scored in that time. But that's not the key at all for their coach.

 

 

"In the end, Founders' Cups won't measure our success in my eyes," said Landry following a recent practice. "It will be about how many successful VHL players we produce, and we're well on our way to producing some excellent talent here in Turku."

The Naughty List

 

Christmas is in the air! The allergic reactions that come from the pine-scented house spray, the music of Trans-Siberian Orchestra echoing through the house, the cut-out snowflakes, the unnatural smiles upon the faces of those who seem perennially grouchy, and the announcement of a free doubles week for the VHL are just some clues that point to it being Christmastime. According to Elf (2003), Santa's sleigh runs on Christmas spirit, and each year there seems to be less and less people who believe in the magic of Christmas. As a consequence, there are a growing number of do-no-gooders in the world.

 

As a rule of thumb, Christmas stories revolve around the good, or at least, the bad who become good (most famous of all being Charles Dickens' Scourge).  So I thought it would be appropriate for this historic article to see who has made Santa's Naughty List from the VHL community. Seldom has anyone in the history of the VHL been banned or suspended. We at the VHL are very tolerable to pretty much anything. It is for this reason that you'd be hard-pressed to find much in the way of bans throughout the boards. The league has not been able to keep very good records of it. So we will try in vain to search for those on the Naughty List among the hundreds of angelic members to come through the VHL.

 

The earliest cases of bans I found goes back to the ancient era of Season 10-13. This was a time before man had conquered fire, so we didn't think of having a ban thread. As far as anyone can remember, Zimmers was banned for 10 games - most likely for being his usual-trolly self. Nilstrom was also recounted as being banned for acting like a complete coal-getter. The worst of this era was when the VHL had to permanently delete the account of a member for abuse on Janelle. Janelle was a female member on the board who had to deal with many sexist posts. Some were in good fun, others not so much. This particular member went too far, too often, and as a result will forever remain onSanta's/the VHL's Naughty List. 

 

Let's fast-forward to the age of technology, where the VHL had its first Ban Thread. The earliest recorded ban was handed down on November 22nd, 2010, by our old, faithful ex-commissioner, David Knight, who sent the ban-hammer crashing on a member by the name of Gunnarson for personal attacks. The next three (and probably four) were all Anderson for excessive posting or releasing personal information without consent. Anderson has been one of the most notorious members in the VHL's illustrious history, so much so that we dedicate not one or two but three emoticons on our current boards to him!        

 

 

The last ban on the z11.inivisionfree forum came ironically on Valentine's Day, 2011. lx_theo (more than likely Anderson) was banned for 96 hours for crude spamming. After that we were convinced that switching to a board advised by Nick Baretta was the smartest thing to do. After months of careful planning and hard work by many members, we finally switched. The day after, Baretta moved to Japan and was never seen again. The board basically exploded and we were forced to move to the forum that currently holds the VHL. 

 

Here, we have given out 4 real bans (it's not the most professional of threads). InstantRockstar was banned on Feburary 17, 2014 for a personal attack. Zimmers, Gorlab, and Jardy were all to follow. 

 

Below is a graphic of the suspensions. It would seem that the VHL overall garners the Christmas spirit very well, considering how many members have come through the league. Overall, almost all the members are caring, supportive, helpful, and friendly individuals. I think it's safe to say that if Santa's Sleigh crashes this Christmas Eve, it will not be due to our lack of love. Merry Christmas VHL.

 

Edited December 24, 2014 by Noah!!

[Doomsday 4,034]

Shit, going to be tough to compete with them naughty pictures.

[diamond_ace 3,106]

Scourge is not the name of a character

[Victor 10,527]

Shit, going to be tough to compete with them naughty pictures.

You should have used voodoo and davatars for good measure.