Cologne Express
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BobertZ last won the day on December 27 2016

BobertZ had the most liked content!

About BobertZ

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    The Fucking King

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  1. Lol still boring as ever. Have to try harder than that to get me to troll you
  2. Accept. Now play me. Storyline coming soon
  3. Still am good. But bored by people like you. It's not worth my time
  4. You are horrible at this. I'm bored by you
  5. Lol funny man. Go back to making shitty players
  6. Good luck signing me after this season
  7. No mention of V2A...
  8. For a agency that loves to brag about it's players and ram their stories down your throats you are not hearing any stories about V2A. Ko Kane is getting all the publicity and media attention. V2A is almost forgotten... or is he? Robbie Zimmers his player agent claims that "Axe is trying to forget last season and this season. The team is not giving him help so he is looked upon to stand on his head night in and night out. He at this point does not want the attention of the media because it would remind him of the shitty situation he is in. So right now he is trying his best to steal a few games and take a shit ton of drugs to forget the nights where his D just lets 70+ shots get at him. So excuse me for now boys, I have a cocaine drug lord to shove down your throat" For V2A
  9. Ko Kane might be the most head scratching prospects to ever declare for the VHL draft. For a agency that is known for it's egomaniac agent and finding the prospects with attitude problems it shouldn't really shock anyone. This week might have taken the ultimate turn to bizarre. Ko Kane after getting his wish of a release went back on his word and said he actually in fact wanted to play in the VHLM. A move some people thought maybe possible because this way he could control where he went. It now appears his rights were awarded to Oslo. Which his player agent Robbie Zimmers said was the plan all along. So lets get this straight... He wanted to sit the whole season last season and blast the dead league weekly, then he wanted to not be drafted but in this case be released just to go back to Oslo? that might be the biggest mind fucks in league history. Ko Kane still has not played a game for Oslo and who knows if he will but Robbie and his player might have just pulled off the biggest waste of time in league history. Something he claims was part of the "master plan" For Ko Kane
  10. Welcome back to Annoyance Analytics. Where I asses the probability of Ko Kane playing for each franchise in the so called league we call the VHL. I will try to keep this down to a minimum because why put effort into this. More than I already have. I actually did research this week. I Robbie Zimmers actually put some thought into something I am doing. Wow! Anyways first on the list is New York yet again for another week. New York well what can I say here. There is a massive rebuild happening here and the team has a competent GM in place to bring them out of the rebuild very quickly. But the rebuild also has a negative effects on the numbers because I don’t want to have two players on teams locked into rebuilds. This is why some numbers have taken big hits. Team drops -49 because there is no team, RFOF +36, UFA Fuckery +14 and signing -9. But the GM respect +15, Location +1, love +10 see gains. They drop a mind blowing 83 points but still stay on top the list with 276. They have a 1 point lead on the next team. This race has now become interesting. Calgary takes over Cologne as the 2nd team on the list which may shock some people. But there is a process that I cannot ignore and I have to respect it. Most numbers stayed the same on the list but small gains at Love +5 and Signing of a miniscule .022 coupled with drops in negative things like RFOF -5, UFA Fuckery -5 the team overall see’s gains of +15.022 points to sit at 275. Cologne… I don’t know where to begin with you. I think you guys are getting cocky just thinking my ego will make me automatically play for you. Sure you have V2A, but he is in the last year of his contract and I just as easily can pull him out of Cologne and sign with the team that drafts Ko Kane (if they need a goalie) My point here is don’t be cocky. That D needs massive help. Sure Ko Kane would be a massive back there but that’s if Ko Kane falls to you. You guys took massive hits on Team -13, Location -19, Hate +29, Love -3, RFOF +20, UFA 20. But with those drops are met with gains of me wanting to sign there +28.466 points. I feel a loyalty to this team that I have not experienced since Vegas and NY. So they stay pretty high on the list and edge out Helsinki by just .29 points. Watch out guys. Davos takes a massive leap from last week. I mean massive. With small gains at Gm of 0.003. But pushers like with 21 points for Team, 40 points for love and 22.6 points for signing and being drafted by. Location took a dip of 6 points but that’s a meh stat, don’t read into it much, Hate took a deep dip of 19 which is a good thing but a alarming thing is the RFOF climbed 10.01 points. What does this all mean? Well the team is filled with guys that I actually like to be on a team with. @TheLastOlympian07 is a great guy, @Ahma that lizard lover, @Green that cocksucker is a good guy and the list goes on. Those guys helped this team jump up the list by a ton. They now sit at 221.71 point opposed to last week’s 110.997 which are gains of 110.713 points. Davos makes a strong push to make the race from a 3 horse race to 4. Helsinki sees a drop in respect for the GM because well… he runs the league so it has to go down like whore on a cock. Yes you can quote that. Hate rise a staggering 13 points because of Rudi Ying @punkhippie. Why? Because his agent is fucking V2A with shit awful D, but having said that my overall indifference for Ying’s agent and because Ying played for MY ACES! (Yes mine, they will always be mine) my love for the team rises 14 points to 44. When it comes to the RFOF it rises slightly because of Ying to a 50.12 which means I am slightly to fuck the team over than stay with them. Come on this isn’t Davos with my boy TLO. UFA fuckery see’s small gains but so does me wanting to be drafted by them and sign with them. With an overall 4.088 gain for Helsinki. So they are slowly gaining ground. Can they really make this a 5 horse race for Ko Kane? With another week of gains who knows. Toronto another team that kind of puzzles me. I live in the city so the location value is high but also my hate for the city brings up the Hate to balance it out. The city is where my son is growing up and the all the shows and movies I work on are within the city so the love is effected but this is an online league so it really doesn’t matter to me. They see some gains but also see dips that lead to an overall dip of -41.998. You might be in the green but it would be advisable to not draft Ko Kane. Quebec… A team that I feel deserves better. They have guys like @tfong, @jRuutu and @Green which should help the team leaps and bounds but. I just plainly hate Quebec. The city and the province the only thing that is good that came out of there is Poutine. GM +5 and Team +55 push the team in the right direction but then dips like Hate (Quebec in general) +55, RFOF +28, UFA Fuckery +5, Draft and Signing -1 push the team to the cusp of 0. They sit at a +1 which is shocking for a team that gets a 40 for drafting and signing. Seattle hey! You aren’t second last anymore! Aint that some shit. While that is a positive thing don’t let it get to your head. One if not the only reason why is because Riga stalled out and took a nose dive. You also took a dip this week of -11.72 points which is the wrong direction kind of because even though you dipped this week you gained a spot up. So gain by losses? Riga you were sitting god damn high last week. Got excited didn’t you? Well… welcome back to earth. You take huge losses after I did some looking into shit. After doing some hard digging (not really hard but fuck you) You take an ass raping on Team -43.99 which could have been much worse but guys like @Philhelp it stay where it is. Location -11, Love -2.5, RFOF +49, UFA Fuckey +60, Draft -35 and signing -44.524 are massive losses that the team may never recover from. They are in freefall mode. This is not because of one player. I point out the hate 20, and Love 10 are too high if it really was about him. It was bound to happen when players I thought were on the team and found out they were not. Riga takes a huge dip of -261.014 points to end up at -55. Stockholm. Hey here is a positive. You are the only team on the list to not take a loss at anything, your numbers stayed the same because the list cannot and will not allow you drop below the bottom of -300. Do not draft me, do not talk to me, enjoy your shitty team. For Ko Kane
  11. If you thought the whole Robbie Zimmers/ VHLM Saga is over and done with. You would be wrong. Ko Kane was drafted by Oslo and then got his wish of being released, but then in a head scratching move he announced his intention of playing in the VHLM afterall. He did not sign a contracts but is on the roster of Oslo since by my guess the league did not think Megster should be fucked over by the player. But what you did not know was Robbie was planning this all along. He was going to have his client sign in Oslo. Why? Well only Robbie knows why. He claims he has a master plan. So far Ko Kane has not suited up for the storm and who knows if he ever will. Maybe this is the league taking away his achievement tracker points for what is being called the oddest thing to happen in the VHLM ever. Ko Kane sat the whole season last year and refused to play. But now he wants to play? Why is that? What is this plan? Why the change of heart? So many questions. Robbie claimed to have been done with the league that fired him for basically nothing. Yet not Ko Kane technically can play if he truly is on the Oslo roster. This will take away the bragging rights of Ko Kane being the only player in league history to not play a single game in the VHLM. Ko Kane still holds plenty of firsts that most people would not be happy about. First player to sit out a whole season, first player to refuse to play for any team, first player to ask to be released right after being drafted and the list goes on in this list of assholic behavior. One working theory is that Robbie noticed that the Aces appear to be one of the top teams in the league this season. So instead of joining “his team” as he calls them. He wants his player to be one of the reasons that team does not get its 2nd championship in 3 seasons. Robbie even gave the press a little bit of his frame of mind from his private suite at the T-Mobile arena. Keep in mind Robbie is still owner and president of the team. “I would love to see the smug cocky looks disappear off some of these guys if a guy came in here and leveled their whole team. Who that player is, only I know but if that were to happen and they would not get their end goal I would be pleased to a certain degree because you know I am the owner and shit. But either way I make money so oh well” That player can only be Ko Kane and now the question becomes if Ko Kane really is on Oslo why isn’t he playing? And if he is not on the team why is he on the roster? So many questions can be asked here, but the ultimate question should be will we get any answers? Who knows and who really gives a flying fuck. The VHLM is a dead league no one gives a fuck about. For V2A
  12. Annoyance Analytics Edition 2 incoming. Stats tabulated and putting finishing touches on it. One team drops 261 points

  13. Covington telling him to be humble lol. Covington the nonhumble person lol. Good read