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As always, I'm not doing an intro because I'm here to name the captains, not to write another essay. The S56 Riga Reign Captains: C - Markus King @Kendrick A - Essian Ravenwing @der meister A - Phil Shankly @Phil I think all three named captains will be active on boards and LR and they will have a good chance to take a Grimm trophy. Don't forget to congratulate them!

Oslo Storm Draft Review The Oslo Storm entered into the draft last night without a first round pick, a result of the team selling the farm to go all in last season only to lose in the semi-finals. After the retirement of VHLM Forever, the aging out of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion, and the inevitable forced call ups of Jack Shephard and Aackckqz Ky it seemed that the Oslo Storm would be in for a long term rebuild. After struggling for several hours to acquire more picks in the draft to speed up the rebuild and having every trade fall through general manager Megster decided to stay put and do her best at drafting. How did she do? In her own words: “It didn’t quite go how I wanted it to. I missed out on a lot of good players, but I got a lot of good ones at the same time. I guess in the end what I wanted was to get more lower round draft picks to foster some of these first generation talents, but it just didn’t work out because I didn’t have much bargaining power. I am happy but disappointed, I wanted more players on my roster, but I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles. We got a lot of great guys though, some very veteran members and some new ones as well. I just hope we have an active locker room this season, I will be very happy.” So let’s take a look at the draft picks from this draft and see who ended up getting selected to represent the Oslo Storm. 8th Overall – Boner Position: Defense Height: 6’3” Weight: 200 lbs Birthplace: Brussels, Belgium Practice Hours: 144 Boner is going to be a good, strong, stay at home, hit ‘em hard defenseman. His top attribute is his checking with an 81 rating. He also has great defense and strength with a 70 and 75 rating in each respectively. Boner is also an expert skater which is important for a defenseman even at the VHLM level. Boner had 0 goals and 6 assists in 8 games at the World Junior Championships. He managed a +5 and had an astounding 34 hits, as well as 13 blocked shots leading the gold medal winning team Europe in both categories. Boner is expected to be one of the best defensemen in the VHLM this season, and you better keep your head up when he is on the ice. 13th Overall – Sadio Salah Position: Right Wing Height: 5’10” Weight: 175 lbs Birthplace: USA Practice Hours: 66 Sadio Salah was selected in the 3rd round. His player agent is well known for producing some high quality players dating all the way back to S17. Salah looks like he is going to be your stereotypical true blue sniper. His skating and scoring both have ratings of 70 points and his puck handling has a rating of 46. All the essentials you need to become a great goal scorer in the league. Salah had 1 goal and 1 assist for 2 points in the World Junior Championships with the bronze medal winning USA. His hits and shot blocks are also nothing to write home about but Salah did play only 74 minutes in the whole tournament. With 3rd line minutes and no special teams time it’s not surprising that Salah lacked production. Overall Salah is expected to form into a nice sniper in the VHLM. 18th Overall – Michael Roy Position: G Height: 6’2” Weight: 185 LBS Birthplace: Quebec City, Canada Practice Hours: 80 Michael Roy fell into Megster’s lap at 18 overall in the 4th round. The Storm, just like almost every other team in the VHLM this season were in need of a goalie. Somehow the 4th best goalie in the league made it to the 4th round. Roy plays much like a Tim Thomas, big in his net and very flexible. Size and agility are Roy’s 2 biggest strengths with both attributes getting a 70 rating. Roy has also been seen lately working on his rebound control and the attribute has received a 45 rating. With team Canada’s goalies being so stacked Roy did not see any playing time in the World Junior Championship and one might speculate this is why he slid so far in the draft. Overall Roy is expected to be a solid starting goalie for the Storm. 23rd Overall – Jabby McFullO’Schmidt Position: Defense Height: 6’6” Weight: 240 lbs Birthplace: Nova Scotia, Canada Practice Hours: 59 Jabby McFullO’Schmidt was drafted in the 5th round, 23rd overall. Some might say Megster took the enforcer a little high, but every team needs someone to protect it. Jabby has put the majority of his practice hours into fighting with a 70 rating. You can often catch him practice fighting with one of his team mates after everyone has skated off the ice. Recently though, Jabby has started putting some practice hours into checking and defense with a 50 and 59 rating respectively. With team Canada at the World Junior Championships Jabby had 1 goal and 1 assists for 2 points as well as a +1. He also managed 18 hits and 11 shot blocks. It was a very solid tournament for Jabby. Overall expect Jabby to slot in on the 2nd pairing at the beginning of the season and maybe move up to play with Boner if he continues to improve by the end of it. 28th Overall – Ben Green Position: Left Wing Height: 5’11” Weight: 190 lbs Birthplace: Raleigh, NC USA Practice Hours: 52 Ben Green was drafted in the 6th round at 28th overall. Green had the most practice hours by far of anyone drafted in the 6th round. However, he has not practiced in a few days and many are beginning to wonder when, and if he will practice again. Regardless of whether or not he does practice again, Green has already started to become an all around offensive player. His most attractive attribute is scoring, with a strong 65 rating. His passing and skating are also very impressive with a 50 and 52 rating respectively. Green also has put some practice time into his puck handling and has seen that rating rise to a 45. Ben Green had a very poor World Junior Championships with team USA. He scored 0 points and was a -4 with 1 hit and no shot blocks. He only played 45 minutes but with a stat line like that it’s not very surprising why. Overall Green is still likely to play the top line left wing spot as no one on the roster could fill that position well besides him. 33rd Overall – Franky Kalashnikova Position: Defense Height: 6’8” Weight: 250 LBS Birthplace: Yakutsk, Siberia, Russia Practice Hours: 31 Franky Kalashnikova was drafted in the 7th round at 33rd overall. It looks like Oslo is going to be fighting a lot, because Franky has put all of his practice hours into fighting. Being one huge man, it’s not surprising that Franky isn’t afraid to drop the gloves. What is surprising is the fact that, that is all that he can do. Franky had a surprisingly strong World Junior Championships, but not for the reasons you may think. Franky had 0 goals and 3 assists for 3 points and was a +4. He also had 14 hits and 9 blocked shots. Overall, Franky is expected to slot in on the 3rd pairing and clean up some scrums when needed. Think of him as a John Erskine type of player. 38th Overall – Ko Kane Position: Defense Height: 6’7.2” Weight: 255 LBS Birthplace: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Practice Hour: 105 In the 8th round with 38th overall pick, Megster made a shocking choice. Clearly it has already back fired as Ko Kane has already asked to be released and was subsequently released by the club. Megster had this to say on the release of Ko Kane: “It happens, you can’t always get a 105 TPE superstar in the 8th round so I had to try, right? I was going to pass from that point on anyways.”

Oslos draft started with a Boner and ended with a release. Throw back to the screaming seamen days.

*My early days with the Riga Reign team* I don't know if @Tagger reads my mind, but my today's article is about the trade that happened back in the S53 off-season, so thanks him for the updating the trade tracker. This trade could've been the most controversial in that off-season, but the deal between Stockholm and Seattle turned the attention away from my trade. What happened? @Banackock had fun times with his team during S50-53 period when he was drafting team's future and competing. But all good things have to come to an end, especially when players suddenly are retiring from the VHL league and some members are becoming GM's. And it was no surprise when he decided to start from the scratch. First of all, he sent his Wolf and Pietro Maximoff to Stockholm which ended in a controversy between a couple of memebers. 30 minutes later, he made another deal: I won't be wrong if I'll will name that a weirdest trade in the S53 off-season. So here it is: To (S50) D - Guntis Petenis To S54 RIG 1st So what was that? First of all, I took the Riga Reign team in the mid-S53 who was in rebuilding mode. So it would've made sense to keep the 4th pick. Instead, I just gave up the 4th pick for...470-480 TPE defenseman who had one season left before regression. Actually these talks about this trade were happening way before that off-season - Banackock revealed his selling plans somewhere after Bogdan Podarok's unexpected retirement so he was offering Petenis for that 4th pick. Somehow, but I agreed for that. My plan actually was to grab Petenis and sell him for even higher pick, likely to Helsinki. Looking back to this trade, I realize it was a silly idea and @Higgins showed exactly why I was wrong by his simple ''No thanks'' reply. Also: Afterparty. I will explain why I put the Frank's quote, but first let's see what Seattle did with fourth pick. 4. SEATTLE BEARS (from Riga): Aleksei Federov, 211 TPE Smart move as Banackock was confident in himself and he was sure he won't go inactive and step down soon anytime soon, so he took his own defenseman. Aleksei Fedorov still plays for the Bears so there's nothing more to talk about. As for Riga: Guntis Petenis managed to somehow win the Labatte, Slobodzian and Campble awards in same season and that was a good part. But the trade still looked weird as these awards only boosted my ego, not the team's future. So it was obvious I needed to make a somewhat proper rebuild and that resulted in this trade (S54 off-season): To S56 QUE 1st To (S50) D - Guntis Petenis Frank was right, the late first round pick in a mediocre draft is worse than a lottery pick in a good draft. So it seemed like I completily lost in the previous trade, but not that fast folks! I didn't even save that pick. Instead, the VHL saw this trade (S55 off-season): To (S54) G - Marcus King To S56 QUE 1st S56 SEA 2nd I decided to make a bold move and bring @Kendrick to Riga as I didn't want to wait for too long before making a push. We can say that I was lucky to get away with this cheap price just because @punkhippie overvalued the S56 draft and he's not fond of Kendrick himself, but it is what it is. Somehow I turned the negative into positive that is helping to make a playoff push. Also, that S56 QUE 1st pick turned into an inactive Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXVIII. Who won? It's hard to say which team had more profits from that trade. It depends actually on Kendrick now: *If he re-signs with Riga - I take a slight win here as I have a strong goalie for multiple seasons, but Seattle doesn't loses here either; *If he doesn't re-signs with Riga - Banackock takes a slight win as he still has a strong defenceman to make a strong contender team in the future. So we will see what happenes in the next off-season, but so far nobody lost from this trade. That's it and I'm out. 6 TPE goes to Krīgars

I have the prediction points tallied and will post tomorrow. I apologize for the delay

because your 50% goofy equals 500% for other people

To the surprise of no one @jRuutu's Fabio Jokinen will continue to serve as captain! His assistants will be: @solas's Lukas Muller @tfong's Fook Yu Congrats gents!

My dentist asked me if I wanted my wisdom teeth out. I said fuck no because then I'll really have no brains. He told me anatomy didn't work like that. Basically though I have a big mouth so my wisdom teeth are fully grown in and have room.

...so I'm going to post a bunch of random VHL related thoughts @eaglesfan036 style. I really want my latest player to be successful. I've never had a player break 1,000 TPE (Robin Gow would have but I retired due to GM reasons) which is the minimum I'd like to do with Jeff. An individual award or even the HoF would be nice, but would require a lot of things to go my way. I've already done more PTs for Jeff than I did for Shayne, so at least i'm on the right track. Once I sit down and actually start writing it's not that bad. My media spots are dull, but 6 TPE is 6 TPE. I believe @Beaviss mentioned in a previous thread coming up with media spot templates for new members. I think that's a great idea. Something like a list of interview questions to answer is an easy way to get that first PT done. Why do we seem to have trouble recruiting from non-hockey sim leagues, or even other sim leagues in general? When was the last time we got a recruit directly from the SHL or GOMHL, let alone the SBA or any other league I may be missing?

The Ottawa Lynx also offers one million @Sullvino

Robbie Zimmers issued a press release after his client Ko Kane was released by the Oslo Storm “We had no idea he was drafted. We just assumed that no one would touch him because he would not be happy in the VHLM. He would make the whole league a toxic experience. That’s not a threat. It’s just pointing out the truth. I mean who would want to be on the same team as a player who is saying “fuck this” and how he did not want to play for the team and in the league? That wouldn’t be fun. So I when I awoke the next morning I checked my messages and I got one from two GM’s. One asking if he would play for them and the next was from Megster. She asked if he would just put it all aside and play. I told her to release Ko Kane and she did. So I do thank her for being classy about it and listening to the players demand” For Ko Kane

Welcome to the VHL 8)

Since the Team Stat Records were last updated (S49), five teams have beaten the previous record for least goals against in a season and five teams have beaten the previous record for least goals scored. Updating them now

evrydayimjoking? I see.

looks like punkhippie got him active for now so good move there by him i suppose

@der meister You found your way to the Riga Reign this off-season, are you happy with your destination? What do you expect to be the more difficult challenge, winning the European Conference or winning the Continental Cup final? Casey Jones came back to Vegas in the draft, happy to return to the team? Were you expecting to be the second defenseman taken? Lot of trades this off-season, which one do you think is the biggest? I did my randomized yearly award predictions and I don't know how I lucked out so much, but I managed to draw Essian Ravenwing for Most Sportsmanlike. Did you know of my plan in advance and hijack Random.org to help me out? Finally, a question on the rebuilding teams, Cologne, New York and Stockholm currently only have one VHL quality skater between them (Hudson Abbott), do you think this is a concern that there are teams that empty in the VHL or do you think that it's OK considering their status as rebuilding? If you think it is a problem, what would you suggest to fix it?

Trades Completed Between Season 59 and Season 60April 9, 2018 - April 15, 2018 To (S55) LW - Xavier Laflamme To S60 QUE 3rd (D Billy Von Goon) Quebec City Meute GM: Keaton Louth Seattle Bears GM: Blake Campbell ------------------------ To (S54) G - Vernon Von Axelberry (S55) D - Dexter Lane S62 SEA 2nd (LW Ryuu Crimson) S62 SEA 3rd (D Lukas Novacek) To (S54) G - Markus King (S56) D - Mathieu Bourdon Riga Reign GM: Benjamin Zeptenbergs Seattle Bears GM: Blake Campbell ------------------------ To (S53) C - Lukas Muller (S54) D - Slava Aleksei (S55) RW - Niko Bogdanovic To (S53) RW - Motherfucker Sharpe (S53) LW - Luigi De Rossi (S55) D - Jake Scheel S61 CGY 1st (G Arvid Aamo) S61 SEA 1st (RW Edwin Preencarnacion) S62 CGY 1st (D Dylan Nguyen) Calgary Wranglers GM: Tyler Barabash Riga Reign GM: Benjamin Zeptenbergs ------------------------ To (S53) C - Lukas Muller S60 CGY 1st (LW Veran Dragomir) S60 TOR 1st (RW Bryce Zhields) S61 CGY 3rd (RW Theo Lefevre) To (S57) RW - Keaton Louth S60 QUE 1st (LW Oyorra Arroyo) S60 RIG 1st (LW Johannes Vilhjalmsson) Quebec City Meute GM: Keaton Louth Calgary Wranglers GM: Tyler Barabash ------------------------ To (S53) C - Marc-Alexandre Leblanc (S54) D - Pablo To S60 HSK 1st ( (LW Jonas Vilhjalmsson) S61 HSK 2nd (D Lew Bronstein) S61 HSK 3rd (G Brody Neufeld) Helsinki Titans GM: Mitch Higgins Toronto Legion GM: Travis Boychuk ------------------------ To (S55) C - Bo Boeser To (S54) D - Luca Volkov S61 NYA 1st (D Robert Malenko) New York Americans GM: Vince Wong Toronto Legion GM: Travis Boychuk Trades Completed During Season 60 May 11, 2018 - March 18, 2018 To (S58) D - Adam Warlock To (S59) C - Elias Sobeck S61 DAV 3rd (LW Ryan Skinner) HC Davos Dynamo GM: Tyler Owens Quebec City Meute GM: Keaton Louth ------------------------ To (S54) C - Fook Yu To S61 NYA 2nd (LW Jesper Stromberg) New York Americans GM: Vince Wong Quebec City Meute GM: Keaton Louth ------------------------ To (S53) C - Lukas Muller To S62 HSK 2nd (D Lando Baxter) Helsinki Titans GM: Mitch Higgins Quebec City Meute GM: Keaton Louth ------------------------ To (S53) C - Xander Finn To S61 CGY 4th (Forfeited) S62 CGY 3rd (RW Jack Stucky) Calgary Wranglers GM: Tyler Barabash Riga Reign GM: Benjamin Zeptenbergs ------------------------ To (S54) RW - Verner Reinholdt (S56) D - Augustus Gloop To S61 SEA 3rd (C Mikka Pajari) S61 SEA 4th (Forfeited) Seattle Bears GM: Blake Campbell Riga Reign GM: Benjamin Zeptenbergs ------------------------ To S61 QUE 5th (Forfeited) To (S56) D - Mathieu Bourdon S61 SEA 5th (Forfeited) Seattle Bears GM: Blake Campbell Quebec City Meute GM: Keaton Louth

Oslo property.

NEW SEASON IS COMING GAME OF THRONES TONIGHT! RIGA IS COMING #FASTTRAVEL

REVIEW: Everything you posted basically boils down to the fact that Cologne was close to empty of future assets when you took over. Could you have made some different or better moves? Possibly, but in the end, Cologne would still be in a similar situation to where it is now, with just different current assets to move for the future. Unless the building blocks are already in place, there's no point in being a middling playoff tweener in the VHL. You have a tough road ahead of you, but it seems like you're willing to learn from any previous mistakes you made. Good luck moving forward.

Gow Excited to Join Lynx OTTAWA, ONTARIO - Death, taxes, and @Fire Hakstol's player joining the Ottawa Lynx in the VHLM. With the selection of Jeff Gow 2nd overall in the Season 56 VHLM Dispersal Draft, it's been unofficially confirmed that every player I've created has played with the Lynx or Ice Dogs at some point in their career. With the selection of Gow, Ottawa is adding what should be a premier (at the VHLM level at least) goal scoring forward who may be a contender for the Alexander Chershenko trophy, which is awarded to the VHLM's top regular season goalscorer. After the draft, we caught up with the young winger: "Given my agency's history with the Lynx, I'm pretty excited to join this franchise. My run with the Saskatoon Wild last season was a real eye opener for me. I saw all the effort it took to win a Founder's Cup. I struggled a little bit during the regular season and the playoffs. The game was played much faster and at a higher level than I was used to, and it showed in my point totals. At one point, I was getting the least amount of ice time of all forwards, and I can't say it wasn't deserved. I'm happy to already have a Founder's Cup to my name, but I want to bring what I learned during my stint with the Wild last season to the Lynx locker room for my own personal gain as well as the team's. I'm looking forward to working with new general manager @Beaviss and doing whatever I can do to help the team win." The Lynx are going into this season as a true contender in the VHLM. In addition to returnees Ho Lee Fook, Harma, and Bourdon, Ottawa added numerous players in the draft, such as goaltender Ike Arkander, wingers Ingolfsson, Shiro, Kiaskov, and defenseman Baustein. Former GM Jim Gow had this to say: "After the much needed rule changes in the VHLM making it harder to build super teams, this is a pretty strong team for this point in the season. We have a good balance of returning players and new draftees, as well as new player agencies and old agencies. I know we already made a trade right after the draft to swap a forward for a defenseman, but I wonder if we'll see any other trades. We may be missing a bonafide 1C, but it'll be hard to find one given those rule changes I mentioned earlier. Every team seems to be missing some pieces, so it'll be interesting to see how the dominoes fall. As the team stands, this group of players is definitely a contender, but we'll see if anything or anyone will be able to push this team over the top.

@Tylar * This is for the upcoming week point task.

Would have been better with the vector version of the logos

Trust the process.

Annoyance Analytics numbers are in and the charts are made. First list to be released tomorrow. Surpisingly there are more teams in "green" than previously thought. But that is due to lack of research on this one. Expect BIG DIPS next week

Theres more than just one in Montreal haha That being said, majority of the people arrested were not even BC residents.

"Suck my Puck" is a particularly good novella.

Nice image of Astrid Moon.

amirite @vancouver

Just a note: I'll probably be starting European Conference updates around 6-7 pm ET or so, because I want to get them all done before Game of Thrones. So get stuff in before then

You know work is depressing when it's preventing me from gushing about Thrones! I feel like this season so far is kind of punctuating how A. They maybe shouldn't have strayed TOO far from the books, and B. They probably could have used more than 13 episodes to end the series. There's lots of action and shit happening, which is cool, but there is details that just get glossed over, especially when it comes to travel and such, and how a woman who is aggressively practicing domestic terrorism and alienated every single person on Planetos still has any support at all, and how she gets a navy and a scorpion and suddenly she's just steamrolling Dany with her own larger navy made up of her own Ironborn, plus three full-sized armies. There's a fair amount more I could nitpick at, but I don't want to be too negative. Game of Thrones was always a show that was even more enjoyable if you thought about it, but sadly it is straying away from that. That said, it has been a very enjoyable season thus far. Like I said, the plot is moving forward very rapidly, which is very entertaining. The Brotherhood scenes were awesome, carried by the Hound, I'm looking forward to getting some White Walker action going again, Bran is a creepy fuck I don't like it, Littlefinger is a creepy fuck I'm neutral to it, Euron is a scary fuck I mostly love it (but give the man a damn eyepatch!), Jaime and Theon's arcs have been stalled for a bit, but hopefully Olenna's mic drop kicks Jaime's into full gear. Which speaking of which, she is always a pleasure to watch. As is Jon Snow and co. Looking forward to Arya reuniting with her fam jam, and I'd be severely disappointed if that's the last we saw of Nymeria and the wolfpack!